


Loving You Is Hard

by ernyx



Series: Romanogers fics (for ease of finding) [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-11 14:41:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13526427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ernyx/pseuds/ernyx
Summary: Snapshots of a relationship between a saint and a sinner, through Natasha's eyes.





	Loving You Is Hard

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from my tumblr @artificiallyimplantedmemories / prompts are always welcome here or there

_Loving you is so hard_ , I whisper to myself in the dead of the night, alone on a rooftop as I look over the ever-changing city. Sitting next to you is so hard. Holding your hand burns like a crucifix to a vampire. You are my torture and my salvation.

     You are on a gilded path of righteousness and justice and I kneel bloody at your feet, a ship in the storm with hopes that your winds will guide me home. I haven’t had a home in years.

 _Loving you is so hard,_  I whisper as I hold the gun to the head of an enemy, waiting for you to save the hostages. He was never meant to survive, and yet you think I’ll do my best to save him. I keep up appearances for your sake, and you have learned not to ask questions.

     I wash my hands more frequently than you do, but the water never runs clean over them.

 _Loving you is so hard,_  I whisper as I stare at the burning building that was once a Red Room facility. I am on a rampage, a whirlwind of chaotic rage, and you call twice a day like clockwork to remind me that I am human. You still believe that I am human. I commend you for it. 

     You hold me close as the screams of people dying in the fire haunt my dreams.

 _Loving you is so hard,_  I whisper in my mind as I slowly strip you down, kiss your unmarred flesh, smooth and pure despite everything it has been through, instead of littered with little scars like mine. I worship you like you are a deity purer than any religion has invented.

     You caress my hair and breathe your light into me and I struggle not to cry.

 _Loving you is so hard,_  I think, with your hand in mine as we watch fireworks go up on your birthday, as if the nation has come out to celebrate you just as much as its own birth, and smile. But sometimes we’re cut from the same cloth, vibrant and dangerous.

     I lean over and you automatically kiss me in return, and I smile.  
                                                 ( Sometimes, loving you isn’t hard at all. )

**Author's Note:**

> This is another old one from 2015!  
> Comments? Feedback? I'd love to hear it! Drop me a line either here or on my tumblr! Kudos and constructive criticism are always appreciated.


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